July 28, 2012

It has been an agonizing few weeks. Our Survivors Group has been meeting once a week. The Group displays a wonderful degree of kindness and support for each other. We are all damaged in different degrees. We have had some opportunities to tell our stories to each other. There is so much pain and heartbreak in them. So much betrayal. It's hard to truly and fully accept the acts that were inflicted on us.

We have written two letters to Horace Mann. The first was so positive and contructive, kind even.
We have still received no reponse at all. We wrote a second letter that expressed our dismay about receiving no acknowlegement at all.

Five of us were intereviewed by CBS on Monday, July 16th. We spoke for about an hour and answered questions from Amy Dardashtian, who seemed very well informed and compassionate. The segment broadcast this past Thursday, July 26th. I thought it was good, but really only scratched the surface. So many of our most significant comments were omitted in the editing. Our main message was our dismay about the non-reponsiveness of the HM Board of Trustees.

I want to reach out again to other victims of sexual abuse by teachers and staff of Horace Mann. I am absolutely sure there are many of you out there who have felt unable to come forward. We need most desperately to know as much as possible of the full scope of this horror. And we need to know you and hear of your experiences and how they have altered the course of your life. Please write to me at samuelsurvivor@gmail.com

I want to express my deepest gratitude to the HM Alumni who have taken up our cause. It helps so much to know that you care, that you believe in us and that you want to help.

June 10, 2012

Today marks the day of the actual publication of Amos Kamil very powerful article "Prep School Predators" in the NY Times Magazine in print.

I want to call everyone's attention to this blog/website:

HoraceMannSurvivor.org

This has been set up by a group of wonderfully supportive and caring people as a resource for all survivors of sexual abuse at HM and their families.

I have been quite literally overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support that I have received directly through this blog and thorugh other means. Thank you you all for your messages. I wish I could repond to each of them individually.

Despite knowing that going public about my abuse by Somary was the right thing to do, I have been experiencing a great deal of emotional upheaval and pain. I will be seeing a new therapist on Tuesday and hope I can start a new process of healing that way.

I truly wish to live a life that's full and satisfying. I don't want to feel like damaged goods without a central core of self love and confidence. I want to feel worthy of love and I want to believe that healing is possible.

Thanks to all,
EB

June 7, 2012
Many of you have now read the fine article by Amos Kamil in the New York Times Magazine. It was published on line yesterday and will appear in print this Sunday, June 10th. I thank Amos for his extensive work on this and for his kindness and compassion to me. I have always felt that the speaking of the truth is a healing thing. The awful behavior of Somary was shrouded in secrecy for far too many years. I can't really say that the publication of the article made me happy. In fact, the whole story really makes me sad.
The Horace Mann School sent out a notice to its alumni. I found it to be a sad little attempt to pretend that the school has no responsibility for its outrageous negligence back then. It staggers my mind that Somary was allowed to keep teaching for 10 years after the school was formally notified of his sexual advances on students. The notice had no hint of apology, no trace of caring about the students whose lives were so terribly damaged.
EB

January 2012 Update

It has been a very long while since I posted here. The memorial concert for Somary did go on last year though the venue was changed at the last minute. This may have been due to a letter I wrote to Archbishop Dolan. I am certain that there are many survivors out there. Somary was a powerful man and his influence and control likely continues over people. Some seem to feel that he gave so much to them in terms of musical experience and education that to come forward about being molested would be a betrayal. I believe we are about to see some very important developments in the process of the truth being revealed.