It's been a terribly long time since I have posted on here. Do forgive me, so much has happened. Many other victims of Somary have come forward. We have been very blessed to find each other and to feel less alone. My identity has been quite clearly established in the press and elsewhere. I can now say clearly and proudly here that I am Ed Bowen, that I was sexually abused by Johannes Somary in the fall of 1973 and that my abuse was in no way caused by me.
I have decided to publish my original letter to Somary here. I sent this letter to him In October 2009 and never did receive a response. I like to think that he actually read it but I am not sure that he did. I am proud of the letter and feel that it conveys a great deal of the pain Somary put me through along with many others
Here it is:
October 29, 2009
Johannes Somary
This morning as I commuted to
work on the subway, Brahms “Nanie” began playing on my Ipod. It brought back a
flood of memories of my time in the Glee Club at Horace Mann. There was so much
about that time that was so wonderful. My heart and soul were opened up to so
much music. You were a big part of that. But there was a terribly dark, really
evil, stain on that time as well. That stain has really never washed away and I
guess it never will. It is your molestation of me as a 16 year old child. I am not saying that I was completely
innocent at that time. I know I talked to you of my emergent sexuality. Yet,
one night, as we sat on your couch after I had babysat your children, you reached
into my pants, pulled out my penis and fondled me. I told you very clearly and
very specifically that this was not something I wanted. Despite this, a few
weeks later, you did the same thing to me again in your car. This second
incident was incredibly painful and damaging to me since you so clearly
violated me against my will.
I am not sure that you are aware
of the seriousness of your unwelcome acts. For me, they have had a devastating
impact on my life, my self esteem and my self confidence. This contributed to
years of drinking and drugging. I nearly died before I was able to get sober
and have been in therapy for all of the years since. Your molestation of me has
come up over and over again in my therapy sessions. It is at the advice of my
doctor that I am writing this letter. The hope is that by communicating some of
my feelings to you I can achieve some level of healing. To do that I also need
to work on forgiving you and I am trying. A very great concern of mine is the
other children that you and Anne molested. I understand from my mother that one
of your “special friends” committed suicide last year. It is beyond my
comprehension that you are able to live with yourself after such an occurrence.
I remember you as being quite
religious in the days of our acquaintance. I wonder if you have confessed these
sins to your priest. I truly hope that you have. I also think you should
consider taking some steps to try to atone for your pedophilia in the real
world while you are still alive. Perhaps you could fund a mental health program
at Horace Mann. You have set a great deal of evil forth into the world with
your outrageously inappropriate behavior. Someday there needs to be some sort
of divine reckoning.
Goodbye Johannes. I do not expect that we will see each
other again. I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to write back to me.
I have no plans to take this matter up with anyone else so you needn’t worry on
that score.
